Anxious Attachment Style
Have you ever been in a relationship where you just can't seem to shake the feeling that your partner is going to leave you? Or, alternatively, have you been in a relationship where you constantly feel like you're pushing your partner away? If so, chances are you have an anxious attachment style.
Anxious attachment style is one of three primary attachment styles, and describes individuals who tend to experience high levels of anxiety and insecurity in their close relationships. If you identify with this description, read on for some tips on how to manage your anxious attachment style.
Defining Anxious Attachment Style
If your relationships often feel like a roller coaster, you might be struggling with an anxious attachment style. Anxious attachment is a type of unresolved childhood trauma, rooted in a fear of abandonment and insecurity relating to your caregiver. It manifests itself in adults by wanting to be close to their partner while also worrying they aren’t good enough or will not have their needs met. If this sounds like you, it's important to understand that you aren't doomed - every relationship deserves the tools necessary for success, and with help you can develop healthier coping strategies and foster connection with healthy boundaries.
The Origins of Anxious Attachment Style
It's easy to feel a little uneasy around others. At the root of this unease lies the anxious attachment style, which is an ingrained psychological predisposition based on early attachment of an infant to its primary caregiver. This can originate from early experiences such as feeling emotionally abandoned by parents or lack of comfort and support, resulting in insecurity and fearfulness when it comes to relationships. The anxious attachment style can persist throughout life if it is not addressed and often times lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and low self-esteem. It is important to recognize the beginnings of this anxiety disorder so that you can seek help and ultimately get to a place where you no longer feel trapped by uncertainty.
The Characteristics of Anxious Attachment Style
It can feel overwhelming and intimidating to talk about attachment styles, especially if you find that your style aligns with anxious attachment. Common characteristics of this attachment style include an intense need for closeness, preoccupation with one's romantic partner's feelings, a fear of rejection and abandonment, as well as low self-confidence. Often times individuals with an anxious attachment strive for perfectionism in order to gain acceptance from their partners. It is important to remember that all these traits are simply adaptations we use to cope with insecurity — they do not determine who someone ultimately is at the core. If you recognize these tendencies in yourself, know that it is absolutely possible to manage them and create a secure relationship through better understanding your needs, practicing validation of yourself and those around you, and becoming more aware of how interactions effect your emotions.
How to Manage Anxious Attachment Style
The first step to managing your anxious attachment style is to recognize the patterns in your relationships and work on understanding how they are affecting you. This can be difficult, but it’s important to take the time to really evaluate your thoughts and feelings so that you can better understand what is causing them. Identifying triggers can help you identify which parts of a relationship evoke fear or insecurity in you.
Once you have identified these triggers, it's important to practice self-care and be proactive about setting boundaries in order to create healthy relationships. It's also important to remember that anxiety doesn't define who you are - it's just something that needs managed, like any other emotion.
Struggling with anxious attachment can be incredibly difficult. It's often hard to recognize our patterns of insecurity and neediness, but it's important to become aware of them. If your attachment style fits in the anxious category, chances are that you have a hard time trusting people and assume the worst from loved ones regardless of whether or not this is true. To best manage anxious attachment, it's important to focus on self-love and acceptance first. Working through any underlying fears and trust issues is key for taking control of your own feelings before attempting to find solace in other relationships. Additionally, practicing healthy self-esteem through activities such as meditation and journaling can really help improve overall well-being.
Living with an Anxious Partner
Living with an anxious partner can be tricky. Sure, it may feel like you want to move mountains for them in the moment, but sometimes those efforts don't make a difference. It can be daunting to try and sympathize and empathize when your own emotions are struggling to find balance as well. It's important to remember that patience is key during these times and do what you can to provide comfort any way possible; whether it be listening, providing reassurance or a simple embrace. You need to understand that they are struggling and respect their process of healing while continuing to show them love along the way; reminding them that they're not alone on this journey.
It is possible to overcome anxious attachment style, and many people have done so by seeking treatment from a qualified mental health professional. Through therapy and self-care, individuals can learn how to process their emotions in healthy ways, as well as build healthier relationships with others. Additionally, practicing mindfulness can be helpful in managing anxiety and allowing yourself to be vulnerable around others.
Ultimately, overcoming an anxious attachment style requires being mindful of your thoughts and feelings, understanding the roots of your behavior, setting healthy boundaries, and working towards a place of security within your relationships. The key is to recognize when you are feeling overwhelmed and take steps to address these feelings before they become too overwhelming or unmanageable.
If you’re struggling with anxious attachment, know that you’re not alone. It’s a common issue that plagues millions of people around the world. The most important thing is that you seek help from a qualified professional who can assist you in managing your anxiety. With their guidance, as well as tips from this blog post, hopefully you can learn to live a happier and healthier life despite having an anxious attachment style!